Hi everybody! I'm skipping my nap to post this. I hear we dogs aren't supposed to be too good at this writing business, but I've been watching Uncle Shakespeare at work.... His stuff always comes out all funny and rhyming, though, and you gotta bark in rhythm to read it. Weird. Inky just eats the paper, so she isn't much help.
I woke up at five, like usual. Like usual, Mom got out of the bed -- I don't know why she's so slow in the morning -- and let me out of the crate to go outside. Usually we have a really fun game where she tries to get me to the door before I pee. Lately I've been letting her win. She thinks this is some sort of progress, but it's really the same thing she does with letting me win the tug toy. I'll save it all up for a really big surprise later!
Anyway, then I went back in the crate with a bone. Honestly, that Mom of mine thinks that just because I went to bed hours before she did that she should be able to get up after me. Silly woman.
Later, when Mom finally hauled her carcass out of bed, we went tracking. TRACKING! My favorite thing ever. Tracking is this really cool thing where Mom takes me out to a spot where there's a little flag -- I used to try to eat the flag, but I know better now -- and even though I can smell where Mom walked all the way up to the flag, at the flag the smell starts having KIBBLES in it! That's fun for a minute, but then it's SMELL SMELL SMELL and I just want to run and smell and chase the scent and go so fast down the track 'cuz I can see where it goes even around corners and turns and it's so cool!!!! but Mom has me on leash /sigh/ and I have to slow down. Sometimes I eat the kibbles on the smell to make her feel good, but I really don't need them and they're kind of silly. I think that frustrates her. But I thought speed was most important, right? Like, I have to catch the person who made the smell and smells are good and scenting and oh boy--!
Oops. Tracking's over. Okay, I can sit with Mom in the field a moment, but I wish we had more smells.
Ooooh, obedience. My favorite! Mom says this is obedience, anyway, but I think that must be a fancy human word for "make Mom give you fun stuff she has." Sits and Downs are really, really easy, but Mom's confusing me a little by changing my nose touch. Hmm. It used to be that I had to touch my nose to her palm and she'd give me a kibble or a treat, but now sometimes she gives it to me just when I start to move forward. I'm not sure I get that. I mean, all I do is push my back feet out and bam! there it is. Kinda confusing. Not to mention, she's not saying "Touch" anymore, but some new word called "Stand." Huh. Guess it'll all make sense later....
Stays. Okay, who invented stays? I mean, they're easy and all, but kinda dumb. I'm 13 weeks old, for crying out loud! I don't want to stay in one place for more than 2 seconds at a time! Although it's a little better when Mom's moving around during stays, 'cuz at least then I have something to look at. Sheesh. Can we do Heeling? I think that's my favorite. (Mom doesn't know that I know what that's called, 'cuz she doesn't use any words for that one yet, but I overheard her talking to Dad and that's what she called it. I'm so clever!)
Naptime! You're kidding, right? I hate naptime! I don't wanna sit in the box. I'm not sleepy. I don't wanna be here. Where's something for me to chew? Bark, bark! I'm not tired! I'm not... a bit... sleepy....
Ooh, the car! My favorite! I love going places. There are always funny people there wherever we go. Sometimes Mom lets me meet them and then they talk all funny to me and rub my ears. Even if I don't get to meet them, there are always cool smells and things. I love the car. I love my crate in the car. I don't mind being in there at all, 'cuz it's more fun. Where are we going today? Oooh, farm store! Lots and lots and lots of smells! Yippee!
Home again. What now? Oh, agility! My favorite! Mom doesn't let me do very much like Uncle Shakespeare does, but she does let me bang on things and climb on things and I get treats for it! A puppy's dream come true! Mom says that I'm fearless, but I can't figure why everybody doesn't do this. When else can a puppy get treats for climbing all over stuff?
Hey, Mom's got a sandwich. Watch this! I'm gonna walk up real easy like -- can't look at the food, that kills the whole game -- and lie down just a little bit away from Mom. No barking, no jumping! Just lie down and pretend like I'm a piece of floor. And check it out! a little piece of lettuce just fell on my head. Yep, puppy karma. Cool.
Ick. Time to go in the kennel. Man, the kennel is boring. Just me and a doghouse and chainlink and a bone. Pbleh. Guess I'll just hang out 'til Mom gets back from wherever she's going without me. Sheesh, what is she thinking?
Ooh, dinnertime! My favorite! I like it when I get dinner in the orange ball; that takes a long time to get all the pieces out and I get to chase it around. I'm pretty smart, though, and I get 'em out pretty fast. Mom says I need a harder ball, but I don't think they make one. That's how smart I am. And fast. Wanna see me catch that thing? Ow, that hurt! Oops, that was my tail.
No, Mom! Not tired! Not tired! Don't put me in the crate. Man, now I have to lie here and just, well, just chew this bone. Yummy. I like raw bones. I need more bones now 'cuz my teeth hurt all the time. Maybe that's why Mom's not playing tug as much as she used to? I thought she was just tired of losing. But I guess swinging off the floor wouldn't be as much fun now that my teeth hurt. Hope that's over soon so I can get back to winning.
/yawn/ Okay, night-night!